We have often heard they hurt my feelings or if that happened I would
finally be happy. What someone did or what happened is just an event, it is
our story about it our beliefs about it that create our feelings.
Some clarity on the difference between events and stories.
Events just are what they are. Stories are created by our thoughts and
beliefs about the event.
The event has no feelings, no drama, it is, just what it is.
The stories we create about the event have feeling and emotions.
What’s interesting is that two or more people can be at the exact same
event and have completely different stories and feelings about the event.
Which story is true? None of the stories are true, they are just stories.
That might be hard to believe especially if you have invested thoughts,
beliefs and emotions in the story about the event, you know your story is
true, it’s the other persons story that is false. The other person will
swear no it’s your story that’s false, their story is the ultimate truth.
I would encourage you to explore that there is no ultimate truth, but
just stories and that no story is more valid than any other.
Another interesting point is that you cannot have a feeling or emotion
without a story creating the feeling.
Some have mentioned what about the facts of life; birth, death, marriage
,etc.. you notice none of those have an emotion attached to them until we
wrap a story around it. Feel the word birth by itself, there is nothing
until you think of the story associated with the birth of your own child.
Then you expand the story and start thinking of the story around being a
parent and the stories of responsibility and before you know it you have a
novel of emotions and feelings.
It sometimes gets easier to relate with our children, if we can remove
our story of being a parent and remove the story of them being our child.
Just see each other as fellow human beings will give some wonderful clarity
on what we would like to do, rather than what we emotionally feel we have to
do. (just a thought, being human is also full of stories)
Once we realize that our experiences are created by our stories and that
stories are very relative and changeable based on the view point we are
seeing the event from, we can change the experience by changing the story.
When a person can recognize that there is no ultimate truth and that what
they believe is a truth, is just story, the easier it is to move from
feeling like a victim without control, to someone that can deliberately
direct their life.
So let’s write some fun stories!
